Couple and Relationship Counseling

Couples Counseling

When couples make an appointment there are usually several themes that keep recirculating in their relationship. Often the presenting issue is identified as communication problems. What does this mean?

Generally, there are conflicts that keep persisting such that a pattern of verbal arguing becomes the norm. This becomes very stressful because there are put downs, yelling, hurt feelings and extreme emotional confrontations. The result is that both people can be become emotionally defended (protecting their vulnerability) and emotional distance is the result instead of the trust that maintains connectedness. Why might this keep happening?

That is what we work on together to find out. Here are some possible reasons:

  1. Unresolved hurts and resentments
  2. When one person carries a negative experience from a past relationship
  3. Alcohol or other drugs become problematic for one or both people
  4. When one person has an affair
  5. Poor interpersonal boundaries
  6. When one person is perceived as controlling by the other

If you want to keep your relationship you must do the work to sit with the tension and sort things out.

If you want to end the relationship you must do the work to sit with the tension and sort things out.

Either way, having the courage to say what is true for you enables positive change.

What do you want?

Posted on July 7, 2013

Howard Brockman, LCSW

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Howard Brockman, LCSW is one of the top psychotherapists and counselors in Salem Oregon for over 32 years. Howard has authored two popular books: Dynamic Energetic Healing and Essential Self-Care for Caregivers and Helpers. To learn more about Howard Brockman, please visit the full bio.

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