How To Deal With Difficult And Aggressive People

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Some people have strong personalities and are direct in their communication. They can often be interpreted as domineering, aggressive, confrontational, demanding, hostile, or even abusive. How DO YOU take care of yourself when dealing with this personality type?

Don’t take it personally. These folks generally treat everyone the same way. Others may be intimidated or feel bullied and you may as well. Perhaps they act this way because of how they were raised. Perhaps they just like confrontations. Regardless of their motive, you can reduce your personal stress by considering some of the following ideas.

First off, don’t react! While this is easier said than done, you will maintain your critical thinking rational mind if you maintain your composure. This way you have choices and you can problem solve. If you react emotionally you are often going to end up feeling unhappy and even angry. Practice NOT reacting. Reference to your body and consider taking a deep breath. If your body is tense your autonomic nervous system is beginning to activate its fight or flight mechanism for your protection. Trust your body and respond appropriately.

If you feel violated you probably are. Others may judge you as too sensitive but others don’t live in your skin. Setting limits on others’ aggressive behaviors is a powerful way to take care of yourself and say NO without later feeling guilty. It is essential that you feel you are being treated with respect. You are entitled to a different opinion from the person who is being nasty to you. Always protect yourself by knowing and trusting your gut. If you feel you are being attacked verbally, consider leaving the situation and letting the other person know why you are leaving. This is setting appropriate boundaries so you feel safe emotionally and physically.

This is part of relationship work. Take it seriously. If you find yourself ruminating over and over about the same encounter you had with this person earlier in the day, you got triggered and are still processing it. If this happens over and over again with the same person, consider individual or couple counseling. Your happiness, health and well-being are primary.

Posted on September 8, 2014.

by Howard Brockman, LCSW

 

 

 

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Howard Brockman, LCSW is one of the top psychotherapists and counselors in Salem Oregon for over 32 years. Howard has authored two popular books: Dynamic Energetic Healing and Essential Self-Care for Caregivers and Helpers. To learn more about Howard Brockman, please visit the full bio.

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